Let's see.... there was Disney. The boys & I had an amazing time. Bryce did what he could while suffering from some pretty rough chemo side effects. The good news is, our last day there, he started turning the corner. The meds that they gave him started kicking in as we were packing up to fly home. Which is great. He turned around the next day for more chemo. Then 2 days later, we flew out & headed for San Francisco with my bestie, Leslye & her super duper husband, Graham.
They had started talking to us this summer about taking a trip somewhere. A "screw cancer" trip. A "YAY! You're over it (again)" trip. When the bomb hit & we found out that cancer was still there, emotions were all over the place. They drove over for dinner that weekend & Graham said "We're doing this now." Pick your place. We bounced around some ideas. They all were centered around going to see a J. Roddy Walston & The Business show. This is Bryce's favorite band & the Swor family said "Yup.... let's do it." And San Fran is where we landed. I love that city. Love, love, LOVE that city!!! J. Roddy was fantastic. We saw Alcatraz from the inside & lots of other cool things. More importantly, we laughed. LOTS!
Austin to Florida to Austin to San Fran. We hit both of the coasts for family fun, then adult fun all in under 2 weeks. We got back Sunday night just in time to tuck our boys into bed & immediately went to bed ourselves. SO, it's Wednesday. I got the boys to school on time. No fussing, panicking or yelling about where a homework folder is. I think I have it together today.
It's just that Monday came around with the sinking feeling that Bryce has cancer. For some reason, it didn't go away while we were off making memories. For 2 weeks, cancer didn't exist. But we are back & Bryce immediately had to shave off his facial hair. It was falling out. So bye bye beard & mustache.
Did I tell you that we were able to get Bryce into Texas Oncology here in Austin for chemo? Yeah..... so no weekly drives to Houston for that. Yesterday, I got the boys off to school, maybe on time? Then back home to get myself ready to get him to chemo for the long haul. There was the 7 hour, 3 drug cocktail that was 3 weeks ago, then 2 weeks of just the 1 drug. So there we were, all packed up. He & I with our laptops in back packs. Then they tell us that his platelets are too low this week.
His face drops.
I can see it. He's upset.
Do you know what that does to a wife? It sucks. Know what sucks even more?
He had been extremely frustrating that morning. Just normal Bryce stuff. Those things that a husband knows how to do just to get the wife perfectly pissy. Then he realized that the day before I had taken care of some medication/pharmacy issues & he was nice again. So there I am. Do I stay pissy? How can I? He's being nice again. So it sucks to know that we were being buttholes for NO good reason before he gets this news.
But once I see the look of disappointment on his freshly shaven face, how can I be anything but.... sad? Sad at myself. Sad at his platelets. Sad at cancer. But I rub his arm & tell him it's all going to be ok. I remind myself that there's no crying when you're the strong one!!! I tell myself, "Self, you are going to HEB to buy all leafy dark veggies & fatty Omega-3 fish & whatever else the internet tells you to! You will NOT listen to the doctor when he says that we can't eat anything that will boost those platelets! You will do this!!! You will make Bryce eat those veggies. And he will LIKE IT!!!" and I did it all without crying.
So it's Wednesday. He's gone back to work. The boys are off to school. On the surface, this morning felt good. Now the house is quiet & needs my attention, but that sadness is sort of sneaking up on me. I don't have time for that. So.... fiddleddy dee. I'll think about it another day.
I'll leave you with pictures of some San Fran fun times.
Love you big!
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