kəˈnəndrəm/
noun
1. a confusing and difficult problem or question
2. a question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle
There you have it folks. And moms....I am mostly talking to
you this round. Summer has this appeal to it. It seems like we'll all be
vacationing more. We'll relax a little more, because we have the time.
There's no school. Schedules?? Pffffttttt...... WHO NEEDS
'EM?!
I am here to tell you.
I NEED THEM!!!!!!
I've had this mom gig
for nearly 12 years now. This is how our summers have worked:
- I was married and working. I did the day care
thing.
- I was stressed out.
- I was afraid that it wasn't the right decision because
my kids were away from their parents all day
- I was married and not working. So I did the
summers with them myself while the husband worked.
- I was stressed out.
- I was with my kids all day trying to make them do chores
and reward them with a dip in the pool
- Finding things to entertain them became an obession
- The lack of a schedule nearly destroyed us all.
- Last summer, I was married and neither of us worked.
So we road tripped for a month.
- I was stressed out about needing to find a job with
insurance
- OK.... so that's about it. Last summer was
pretty great.
- This summer, I'm a single, working mother.
- I'm foundering
- I'm stressed out
- I have been shuffling my kids around for a month and a
half
- I miss my kids
- They miss me
- I wake up in a panic "Where am I?"
"Where are the kids?"
This is what I've
decided. Summers really aren't as much fun as they're cracked up to be.
Another thing..... schedules are pretty important. Not only do I
thrive on one (and I've known this about myself for years), but my kids
absolutely need one. So far this summer, my kids of been with my parents,
my sister in law, a lot of time with my mother & father in law.
They've seen some friends. They've swam in some pools. We've
camped with our friends. We boated, swam in a lake, had some fun for the
4th of July. Monday, I was EX-HAU-STED!!!!! Now, they are with my
brother. The week after that they'll be at home just chilling while I
have my brother completing some construction on the house (***shameless plug:
Call Rictin Construction***). I can't WAIT to come home to my boys every
day next week. Then, Bryce's parents will take them for the last week of
July.
That ends it though.
The boys will go for a month of summer program. Basically, it's a
fun day care. But I can't say "Day Care" in front of Bowen.
They NEED the schedule. Maybe even MORE than I do. I just
can't handle the shuffling. And why do I have to feel guilty about this?!
Why do I put that on myself. The one common problem in everything I
wrote up there about my summers.... I was stressed out.
Mother shaming happens
day in and day out these days. I shouldn't feel guilty for doing the best
thing for my family. So for 1 month of the summer, they will go to bed at
a decent hour, have field trips, come home to have a family dinner and go to
bed at a decent hour. I won't have to wonder where they're spending the
next day. I won't have to wonder if they're OK with whatever and whoever
they are with for that day. They'll be right where I put them and they'll
be fine. The weekends can be reserved for us to "go make
memories" or whatever fun saying people are stitching on pillows these
days.
and I refuse to feel
guilty for it.
Secondly, if you ARE
having a crazy, fun summer where you can sleep in and go on excursions every
day, then good for you!!! You don't have to feel guilty for that either.
The bottom line is that if moms are wondering if they are ruining their
kids and they stress about it, then they are doing OK. It means that they
think about it and they love their babies. I know I love mine. I
miss them. I'm ready to start trying to manage our schedule ourselves.
I always called us the
Fantastic Four. Well, we're figuring out how to work as a team in Tres
Stobb. I think we're doing alright..... but the real work is just now
getting ready to start.
