An Affair To Remember

It's been almost a month since I wrote?!  I think about something or something happens and I'd say to myself, "I should blog about that."  But the month of December was a little bit crazy.  The last time I wrote, Bryce was still in the hospital.  He's written though!!!  Catch up with him if you'd like bastobb.blogspot.com

Now the range of emotions that you read about in the last post sums up my December.  We got home.  Bryce has been recovering BEAUTIFULLY!!!!!!!  It's really crazy how well he is doing.  He finally feels good and has been more himself this month than he was before surgery.  He's doing things around the house again.  He finally acts like he feels alive!!!  But that's not to say that there haven't been frustrations through his recovery too.

Then we found out that that Bryce was going to do his follow up appointments in Houston on the 22nd of December.  Whelp.... my family was planning on coming up here for Christmas.  But with the appointments happening the week of, I asked my mom if we could switch it up again and all come to her house.  So she hustled and she bustled and she got it all prepared.  Christmas was wonderful.  That whole week was wonderful.  I went to a Texans game.  We did Christmas with Bryce's family.  Then went to mom's and did Christmas stuff there.  It was all great.

The best part..... AJ's love for the holidays this year.  His love affair with Santa and writing letters to Jolly, our elf on a shelf was one of those sweet moments a mom gets to see in a sons life.  It was right after she came out of the box that he wrote her a note telling her that he liked her so much and was glad that she was our elf.  I mean HOW CUTE IS THAT?!?!!  It was like a lover letter to his elf.  hee heee heeeeeee

Bryce and I can't stand her.  We mostly feel burdened by her neediness and the expectations.  So we call her the troll.  On the other hand, this could be the last year for him to believe in the Santa thing.  I see it all breaking down really soon.  So I made sure I didn't fail this year.  It's typical for me to have a list of excuses in my back pocket for why the troll didn't move.  Not this year.  She actually made snow angels and got into a snow fight with another stuff animal of his.

And even though Bowen asked me last year what the real deal was on the Santa suit, he was still making it lots of fun for AJ.

So the Santa business is over and we've been assembling the boys presents from Christmas every since.  This house is really starting to feel like home!!  We organize and decorate rooms.  We clean stuff out that we never should have moved up here in the first place.  Bryce is finally organizing his man stuff.  He even said that he's starting to feel like he's moved in now.  Honestly.... I think he'd given up on life there for a while.

Maybe the 3rd time wasn't the charm.  Maybe this wasn't the 4th time.  Maybe this 4th surgery was like saying the 3.2 time is the charm.  God has the answers.  I don't.  But I do have faith that we're on the right track.  I do feel like 2014 is a year I want behind me.

Don't get me wrong..... 2014 brought us good things too.  A beautiful new home, a wonderful school for the boys, a neighborhood that the boys can just run around in.  It's also a year that has taught me about forgiveness, true love, faith and endurance.  2014 has showed me areas that I will work on in 2015.  I have already stated that the resolution for myself is to let it go.  I'll channel my inner Queen Elsa.  Stop being the ice queen and just live life loving the best way I know how.

I'm reading "Traveling Mercies: Some thoughts on faith" by Anne Lamott.  It's funny and clever and honest.  It comes highly recommended from my friend Courtney and I think you should read it too.  The other night I read the following and the light bulb went off.  "...God is for giving, and we are here for giving too, and that to withhold love or blessings is to be completely delusional......Then an old friend from Texas left a message on my answering machine that said, 'Don't forget, God love us exactly the way we are, and God loves us too much to let us stay like this.'"

and THAT folks is when it hit me.  I don't have to stay like this.  I don't have to hold on to grudges.  I don't have to wonder why people do bad things to me.  I don't have to let it consume me.  I can forgive them.  I can let it go.  Life is too short to let my heart be filled with the bad stuff.  If I let it go, I can fully appreciate so many little things that might have gone by unnoticed this month.  FINALLY meeting my newest nephew.  AJ's crush-like love for his elf.  Enjoying time spent time with my parents that I miss VERY much, instead of being sad that they aren't right next to me anymore.  Rejoicing for the successes in Bryce's latest surgery, instead of resenting that he had to have it.  Just let it go!

I still have a lot of work to do on myself.  I literally just locked myself in my room to avoid these kids that I love so much.  But..... today is still 2014.  I'll be better tomorrow.
Happy New Year everybody!!!!  be safe!!!!