For anyone living under a rock or for anyone that finds this blog in a hundred years, we are currently living in a world that is under attack by COVID-19. Our hospitals are not equipt with enough ventilators to battle and treat this sickness. That's the basics of it.
They told us all to stay home. Well, that's weird! We were required to home school our kids for a season. That's hard! I personally am in the middle of construction on my home, too. I suffer from anxiety and depression off and on from time to time. It happens to be one of those times. Life circumstances probably brought that on. Mental illness and emotional distress is a very real thing. And to be perfectly honest, it sucks!
We're about halfway to Christmas in 2020 and here's a little run down of things happening in my life. My job said, "Do NOT come to the office." My job duties have had to shift a little bit, but I'm lucky. I still have a job while others were forced out of theirs. That makes me sad. For three weeks, the kids and I locked ourselves in our home, homeschooled and tried to figure out what was happening in the world. The construction on the home was put on hold because workers couldn't come here. Why? Because the workers were afraid to come in and we were afraid to let people in, because none of us wanted to die. That's not a comfortable feeling. Next, the death of George Floyd caused an uproar in every major city across America. Rightfully so. It wasn't fear I felt then. It was overwhelming sadness. In the middle of this, we've tried to get construction moving again. I also stepped down from my Worship Team at church. That's met with mixed emotions as well.
Here's the deal... there's no way anyone could be experiencing 2020 in America and not feel like:
1) 2020 is definitely the equivalent to a dumpster fire
2) Humans everywhere are in serious pain
3) Emotional and mental health problems are very real
That being said, what a time for us to lay ourselves at the cross. Churches have been forced to close thier brick and mortar doors, but a building isn't the church. The people, the body of Christ, are still here. When talking to the pandemic, I know that Revelation 21:4 is true. Someday, there will be no more death. And the beautiful image of Christ wiping away all of our tears helps me. For this woman experiencing severe anxiety and depression, I HAVE to go to The Word.
Psalm 94:18-19 - God will support and console me
Isaiah 45:5-7 - Everything is under God's control
Psalm 143:7-8 - God listens and responds to my cries for help
What about when I'm feeling weak or frustrated?
Psalm 34:19 God will deliver us through our struggles
Romans 8:26 - The Spirit helps us in our weaknesses
I have The Word. God has given me all of the tools. So, why.... WHY does life feel so hard right now?! Why do I cry so much? Why can't I just "feel better?!" Afterall, in Matthew 6:25-34, He tells me not to worry about my life or about tomorrow. So why do I worry?! I mean... if worrying were an Olympic sport, I'd be pulling in Golds ALL DAY LONG! Look out Phelps!
I don't know what my point is here, necessarily. I do know that I'm not the only one feeling this way though. What I need to say to people and definitely to myself is FORGIVE. Forgive myself. Go easy on myself. If God asks us to show mercy to others, then I need to show mercy to myself.
Grace. Humility. Kindness. Compassion.
Jesus taught us. He showed us, BY EXAMPLE, not only to share these gifts with others, but to lay them on our own hearts.
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