First, I'd like to tell a little story about my state of mind when they said they needed to operate. They had already been administering dilaudid.
Dilaudid = Morphine x 8
Dilaudid = Morphine x 8
My brain was a little less than sharp. When they said they were going to operate, my initial reaction in my dulled mind was something along the line of "Cool, man." I was somehow able to piece together that someone had mentioned that it was nearing 7:00 pm and my surgeon had not spoken to me because he was studying my current pictures with those from two and a half years ago. It dawned on me that someone had mentioned the word "emergency" when discussing my case. When the surgeon came to talk to me, I had started to realize the urgency. It was even more evident when a very qualified and well respected surgeon made the decision to bring in someone else to handle my case, because he hadn't operated on many cases like me. I asked as many questions as I could. Questions about the procedure and the way it was going to happen. Questions about risks. Anything I could get my furry brain to come up with. It was setting in that I wasn't having a tooth pulled. Someone was going into my chest cavity to clean out stomach contents. THAT is problematic and needs major work. It was sinking in and freaking me out right about the time they were taking me back and knocking me out. Essentially, just in time.
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| Tube scar is a few inches below the incision |
Turns out, this surgery was pretty serious. You can read about why it had to happen in my last post, if you click HERE. If you need to know the why behind things, the previous post is for you. If you need to know how, that's why we're here today. The procedure that they did is called a thoracotomy. They started the cut on my left side and went about 8 inches around to my back. They cut between ribs to get inside of the chest cavity. They insert a tube into my lung. This is for multiple reasons. For me, its purpose was to drain the fluid that was there at the time, and it would stay in to keep draining fluid out post surgery.
For the week that I was there, I was in ICU and the beds were all full down on the floor. Basically, once the chest tube and epidural came out, there was no need for me to be in ICU. However, there were greater needs down on the floor. Therefore, I was released straight from ICU on Monday. Ideally, they would have kept me for at least another day. They would have preferred to watch me eat real food and take a warm shower to make sure I could handle both with no issues. They would have preferred to watch me go to oral medications from intravenous before sending me home. I know that's what THEY would have preferred in an ideal setting. I am, however, very happy with going home when I did. I just have to be extra cautious and aware of my body.
What does this mean a week post surgery? First of all, I got to take a shower. FINALLY!!! It was literally the best shower I have had in my entire life. The first shower after not being allowed to have one for six days was even better BECAUSE it wasn't at the hospital. I still had help. It was at my parents house, not mine, because they have a bench seat in theirs. It was so wonderful, I'm going back to that shower tomorrow for another one. It didn't have to happen with a stranger in the room with a badge that says physical therapist. It didn't happen with left over hotel soaps and washes with a rough wash cloth. I'm telling you. This is reason numero uno for breaking out of the ICU a day or two early. OK. I also wanted to be with my kids and home, but the shower really was top notch.
Next up, I have to rest and take it easy. They say it's an 8 week recovery. I'm having a hard time explaining what this feels like. Maybe like broken ribs that have had a hysterectomy? My ribs hurt. Coughing or clearing my throat is one of the hardest things that I do. I grasp for a pillow to hold against me and try to be as gentle as possible, but there is still "stuff" that I need to clear from the lungs. Mid-story or sentence, I may suddenly stop to try to fill my lungs with air. That is difficult to do, as well. Laughing is excruciating. I simply have to remember that people have gone into a part of my body where all of the important things live, minus the brain, and cut away tissue and part of an organ that were bad. It's going to take a minute to feel normal again, but I can tell you that I feel great, all things considered!
Lastly, I have to pay very close attention to what my body is telling me. I think I lost 20 pounds this week. I'll verify when new batteries for my scale show up. I don't think I can eat like normal, yet. I wasn't allowed a full diet until the day I left. I have been trying to ease into food. I am also not that hungry, because I am not active right now. What I discovered today is that I can feel my stomach digest a meal. It's one of the strangest sensations I have ever had. As we all know, the stomach contracts to digest. Well, I can feel that about 3 minutes after I'm finished eating. It isn't necessarily painful, but it's certainly uncomfortable. It's kind of like a muscle cramp. As an added bonus, when it happens, I also "lose my stomach." It's as if I am on a roller coaster and my stomach drops, but it's less severe. Slower, so to speak. It's quite bizarre and uncomfortable. And standing or walking through it feels better than laying down. Anyhow, I'm definitely paying attention to my intake and what my body is telling me.
That covers it, I think. I will finish with a few disclaimers though:
For the week that I was there, I was in ICU and the beds were all full down on the floor. Basically, once the chest tube and epidural came out, there was no need for me to be in ICU. However, there were greater needs down on the floor. Therefore, I was released straight from ICU on Monday. Ideally, they would have kept me for at least another day. They would have preferred to watch me eat real food and take a warm shower to make sure I could handle both with no issues. They would have preferred to watch me go to oral medications from intravenous before sending me home. I know that's what THEY would have preferred in an ideal setting. I am, however, very happy with going home when I did. I just have to be extra cautious and aware of my body.
What does this mean a week post surgery? First of all, I got to take a shower. FINALLY!!! It was literally the best shower I have had in my entire life. The first shower after not being allowed to have one for six days was even better BECAUSE it wasn't at the hospital. I still had help. It was at my parents house, not mine, because they have a bench seat in theirs. It was so wonderful, I'm going back to that shower tomorrow for another one. It didn't have to happen with a stranger in the room with a badge that says physical therapist. It didn't happen with left over hotel soaps and washes with a rough wash cloth. I'm telling you. This is reason numero uno for breaking out of the ICU a day or two early. OK. I also wanted to be with my kids and home, but the shower really was top notch.
Next up, I have to rest and take it easy. They say it's an 8 week recovery. I'm having a hard time explaining what this feels like. Maybe like broken ribs that have had a hysterectomy? My ribs hurt. Coughing or clearing my throat is one of the hardest things that I do. I grasp for a pillow to hold against me and try to be as gentle as possible, but there is still "stuff" that I need to clear from the lungs. Mid-story or sentence, I may suddenly stop to try to fill my lungs with air. That is difficult to do, as well. Laughing is excruciating. I simply have to remember that people have gone into a part of my body where all of the important things live, minus the brain, and cut away tissue and part of an organ that were bad. It's going to take a minute to feel normal again, but I can tell you that I feel great, all things considered!
Lastly, I have to pay very close attention to what my body is telling me. I think I lost 20 pounds this week. I'll verify when new batteries for my scale show up. I don't think I can eat like normal, yet. I wasn't allowed a full diet until the day I left. I have been trying to ease into food. I am also not that hungry, because I am not active right now. What I discovered today is that I can feel my stomach digest a meal. It's one of the strangest sensations I have ever had. As we all know, the stomach contracts to digest. Well, I can feel that about 3 minutes after I'm finished eating. It isn't necessarily painful, but it's certainly uncomfortable. It's kind of like a muscle cramp. As an added bonus, when it happens, I also "lose my stomach." It's as if I am on a roller coaster and my stomach drops, but it's less severe. Slower, so to speak. It's quite bizarre and uncomfortable. And standing or walking through it feels better than laying down. Anyhow, I'm definitely paying attention to my intake and what my body is telling me.
That covers it, I think. I will finish with a few disclaimers though:
- I AM medicated. I forget things. Often. Please tell me the same story 3 times. It will give you opportunities to perfect it. Just make sure that they aren't funny stories for the time being.
- My summer is kind of blown. I'll do what I can to make sure the kids have fun, but I am not submersible for at least a couple of months. I am kind of sad about this.
- My sleep patterns are completely messed up since coming out of surgery. It makes my powers to forget even stronger. It also makes me down right loopy.
- All of this makes me emotional. I'm an overwhelmed, once again, with your love, support and prayers. I seriously love you guys.
First I'd like to say I'm so glad that you're doing so well in your recovery. Please take very good care of yourself. Secondly, you have a gift for writing & I do hope you'll consider seriously looking into that. Get well soon <3 Patti
ReplyDeleteWe love you so much and we are grateful to God that you are going to be ok!!! Please take care of yourself!! We are praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteDUDE! You picked a really interesting way to drop 20 pounds. There are easier ones. Trust me, I've tried them all--liquid, protein, liquid protein, etc. Can't say as I've tried the 'thoracotomy/stomach excision' route. And as beautifully as you wrote about it, not sure I'm in a rush to try it out. I'll tell ya, when you try something, you really go for big air, there, pal. ;-) In all seriousness, I get back from two weeks vacation, and this is the first thing I read in my inbox, so I guess I can't leave anymore. And--THIS GOES WITHOUT SAYING--you have to get better. (At your own pace, of course. Listen to your body, not how sad and lonely we are without you. :-) ) It's official that summer is blown for us, too, because you won't be around the office. Healing energy coming your way, my friend. We'll be thinking about you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. Very glad you are beginning to heal! Prayers & Hugs
ReplyDelete